you can do it, anon, i know you can. i was also the kind of person who didn't reach out to others as much as i wanted to, because i was afraid of coming across as clingy and annoying. it's hard at first to accept the idea that friendship can be unconditional and that you deserve to have people in your life who will really be there for you. that's why i think a friendship works best when you can be supported by your friend and support them in return, so it's a mutual give-and-take.